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Weird things you've done to jerk off

topic posted Thu, June 2, 2011 - 2:41 AM by  Douglas
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I've put it in women's panties, shoes, closed the shower screen door on it, let men and women pull it out of my pants and jerk it, cum letting my dog lick it, cum in a whore's hand after paying but before penetrating her, rubbed it against furniture and my bathroom basin, and there must be more I can't think of...
posted by:
Douglas
Portland
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  • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Wed, August 3, 2011 - 6:05 PM
    When I was younger and just started masturbating I used to wrap my cock in Magic tape, fairly tight to act as a cock strap (tho I had no idea about such things then) and then when I got hard I'd stroke away. The skin on my cock would slide up over my cock head and act like a sleeve. When I felt like I was ready to cum, I'd take the tape off, which made my cock itch like crazy. The only relief was to storke it like crazy! I'd have a huge orgasm and blow my load all over my stomach. I've been jerking off since I was 11 or 12 and while I don't use the tape method any more, I still jerk off almost daily; I'm 63 now!
  • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Sat, October 8, 2011 - 11:42 PM
    surprised myself recently... have previously rubbed myself fully clothed against furniture and it felt so good i didn't want to stop, so naturally came in my pants and had to go quickly to clean up.... recently sat naked on a vinyl chair, tucked my limp dick under my ass and sat down, rocking back and forth... surprise myself how quickly I came (the fact somebody came past the open doorway and I had to stop a couple of times may have helped)... I could feel the come rush through my cock... and when I got up to wipe off the chair I found gobs of cum between my legs, behind my balls and dripping down my inner thighs
    • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

      Mon, November 21, 2011 - 12:46 AM
      Douglas, when I was 12 a school friend told me about the technique you described. He and his brothers masturbated that way but it's never worked for me.
      I was an avid humper for many years - the bed, hard floor, steel poles, the edge of round tables and the bathroom basin, trees, the compact sand at the beach, can't think of anything else at the moment.

      Douglas, how did you get the dog to lick your dick till you cum? I've wanted one to but can't get it to do it.
      • Unsu...
         

        Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

        Mon, January 2, 2012 - 9:21 PM
        i had a buddy who put peanut butter on his cock and his dog would lick it off....i was there once and he let me try....felt fucking awesome
        • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

          Mon, January 23, 2012 - 7:46 AM
          An episode of "Two and a half men" shows Charlie reminding his brother Allen about the peanut butter incidence.
          Allen tells Charlie to drop it. Charlie says, "I told you, 'No Allen, you're supposed to put the peanut butter on yourself, not the dog."
          Charlie goes on to say, "Now that a funny story, Allen. I tell everybody about it," much to Allen's sargrin.
        • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

          Sun, March 3, 2013 - 4:26 AM
          In college, I had a straight roommate that sat a watched me Fuchs a Conch Shell for four hours until I cam. My favorite way to jerkoff is at church rubbing against the pew in front of me at Mass while wearing a suit, I come home with a wet spot on my crotch. I guess I love going to church!
          • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

            Thu, March 7, 2013 - 4:14 AM
            I used to catch bees and pull their stingers out and their wings off, then take a bath and with my hard on stickin out of the soapy
            Water I would put the bee on the head of my cock and he would run around on the head until I blew my load and him off into the water.
            NICE.
  • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Mon, January 2, 2012 - 9:12 PM
    Discovered that the towel rail in my bathroom provides a double action... by bending my cock up under it I get the pressure of the rail on the base, and my cock-head presses against the wall... by humping it I get both sensations... and I can watch the cum spurt out of the eye of my cock
  • Unsu...
     

    Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Sat, February 2, 2013 - 5:36 AM
    i love to masturbate outdoors in narure, so Ive humped trees and rocks, the ground, stroked my dick with leaves and plants and got naked in the snow and stuck my hard cock into he snowbank and humped! Indoors i often hump furniture and rub my cock against different surfaces. Have also used a powerful hand held showerhead on my throbbing knob.
  • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Thu, July 17, 2014 - 5:46 AM
    Once while I was masturbating, I clamped my nipples with clothespins. I did that because I was curious that there are many people who can be sexually pleased by playing with their nipples, so I tried it. Well I felt a little of pain (not really hurting though), but I felt more pleased.
    The other weird (maybe) experience is my habit. I like masturbating with legs wide open, so I can sexually please myself through my anus easily. Usually I fingered my hole (and by opening my anus widely, I can fist my hole), but sometimes I use a dildo-like things.
  • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

    Sun, July 20, 2014 - 1:58 AM
    i jacked off to a guy whom a friend knows and his brother who they both crossdress..i jacked to the idea of me or others in female clothes
    • Re: Weird things you've done to jerk off

      Thu, July 31, 2014 - 4:04 PM
      Way back when I was just learning the joys of masterbating...it eventually dawned on me one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much was because of all the things in the bathroom that belonged to my mother and my sisters.... Lots of stuff that led to loads of experimentation. Somehow I discovered putting rubber bands on my testicles increased the pleasure of it all. I hadn't learned the usual way of jacking off yet, but I loved the way I did it by using lubricated hand over hand, keeping all the foreskin forced to the base, then pressing the base of my cock at the point of cumming and holding all that slippery gooey smelly stuff inside my penis as long as I could. Oh, the days gone by.....

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